Self Consciousness

It has been a tough couple days. That "just not feeling it" feeling keeps hanging around for one reason or another.

But at least I'm getting the hang of running anyway.

The last couple days have been miserable. We finally have spring-like temperatures and they came with rain. Buckets and storms and showers and mists, and scarcely a dry moment to be found. And that means no running, just walking at the school in the early morning hours. I've only gotten one real run in this week.

The sun came out in the evening on Monday so I decided to head out while I could, but the sidewalks and my usual path were better suited for wading than for running. That left just one option, the high school track. And with the first 60-something degree day of the spring along with the first break in the clouds all day, a dozen other people had the same idea.

For me, that's a problem.

I really hate running when there are other people around. It is a weird thing to be self conscious about, especially when those other people are other overweight, middle aged women out for a walk on the only dry spot in town. But there it is.

On a track full of people walking in pairs and small groups, I feel like I look ridiculous doing my walk/run intervals all by myself. And just to make it a little better, I'm in week two of the Zombies, Run! program so there are heel lifts in between interval sets as well.

I seriously considered skipping the C25K workout and just walking, but then I realized something - if I can't work out in front of a bunch of moms and senior citizens out for an evening walk, how am I going to feel about actually running in a race?

So I did it. My full work out with an audience of people who couldn't care less about the woman running the back stretch of the track instead of walking like everyone else. It may not sound like much, but it felt good to me. Some days I think it is the smallest victories that keep me going.